Almost from the moment I woke up yesterday morning, I knew something was off. Not off in some serious physical way, but mentally off. As I thought about this new baby blog of mine, I could not summon one coherent thought regarding what to write about next.
I was blank. Empty. Nothing came to mind worth writing, let alone having you read. I was suddenly quite sure I had been a two-post wonder. “Well”, I thought, “It’s been a nice run, folks. Thanks to all my tens of followers for your undying devotion. I really wish I could have continued, but, unfortunately, any and all thoughts appear to have permanently left my mind. Have a good one.”
I let myself have a moment of internal panic.
Then…I decided to let all the craziness marinate in my mind for a while, and slowly, slowly I began to once again realize why I started all this in the first place. Why did I start this blog in the first place, you ask? Well, friend, I’m so glad you asked, let me tell you.
I started this project because I felt I could no longer ignore an idea that God had put on my heart months ago. The fact that this journey scares the pants off me is no doubt just icing on the cake in His master plan for my life. By nature, I tend to become way too focused on my self-sufficiency, or when facing a hurdle, think, “How am I going to get through, over, or around this on my own?”.
I’m clearly asking the wrong question. It’s obvious to me in hindsight…but in the moment??Oftentimes, it’s a different story.
God continues to very gently and patiently remind me that I’m not doing anything in this life on my own. His strength is there for the taking, to lean on, to get me through, over, and around this thing called life. It’s so freeing to remember (once again) that I was never designed or created to be self-sufficient. He created me (and you, by the way!) with a plan in mind, and that plan has always involved Him being at the very center. Just where He belongs.
If this were easy for me, I don’t think I would have felt compelled to do it. The mere fact that it is a step, or five, out of my comfort zone secures for me that this is exactly what I should be doing.
Now I just need to figure out a way to make that lesson stick…hmm…let’s see…I know, how about committing to write a blog, with no plan, no backup, no assurance of success, and a hefty dose of vulnerability?
What truths does God gently and patiently remind you of?